Certain products are just such a pain in the ass. They should be illegal. These are items that bug the neighbors.
They are products without a purpose.
What we are not talking about is marketing, so while gender marketed products should be illegal that is not the purpose of this article. We also are not talking about silly gadgets like a banana slicer or snuggie.
1. Leaf Blowers
Leaf blowers are number one on the list of things that ought to be illegal. If we stop just short of making them illegal, I propose requiring they have a maximum noise output.
These damn things make you never want to go outside because people are constantly out there blowing dirt around. I can’t take myself out for a walk around the neighborhood without risking an eye injury.
Put them away you lazy shit and get yourself a broom or rake.
2. Keurig Machines
Ok, the Keurig might be a marketing scheme but it is also a product. These should be illegal because they produce so much waste.
You have the throw plastic out every time you make a cup of coffee. Nobody is using those reusables. You know why they are not using the renewable coffee pods? Because nobody drinks one cup of coffee!
In conclusion, outlaw the Keurig machine, they should be illegal.
Get yourself a proper coffee maker. Take your pick: drip, pour over, french press. Whatever!
Personally I want a tasty cup of coffee, I make my own ground coffee at home to enhance the flavor.
These lawn people, all they care about is their precious lawn. They even put signs out telling people not to let their dogs touch their precious blades of grass. What complete human garbage this behavior is. Thanks Doug and Karen, the pavement is 9000 degrees and you don’t want my dog traveling in your grass. Sorry human garbage but my dog is walking on your grass, pissing and shitting in your grass, andmost importantly touching your blades of grass. We all know neither of you are ever outside except to lord over the pesticide company as they spray your lawn. What scum of the earth!
Speaking of the earth, its dying. Maybe you’ve heard about it? It’s called global warming, sometimes it’s called climate change. In the past year thise climatic events have escalated in number and severity. It is downright alarming!
Stop spraying your lawn and start protecting our water. Because as climate change moves along, our waterways will becoming increasingly contaminated and less drinkable. That bottled water comes from somewhere, and you will not be able to afford it soon enough. I know you think you are wealthy now, but just wait and see. Your heard will be on pikes.
4. Fuck I have to come up with 7 more items for this list?! I give up. Someone comment and give me ideas… I need a drink. Life is fucking hopeless. Also, get a vaccine already. This thing is mutating every hour and the dependency on the science to keep up with your ignorance is just too much faith in the system (that you supposedly don’t believe in).
Glug glue motherfuckers.